It's late. I really should be in bed. But the Lord has been working in my heart and I want to share...with whoever will listen. We have such an amazing God.
My journey here is far from over and far from where it should be. As I look back I can see the road. With all it's twists and turns. It climbs over mountains and runs down into deep valleys. One such valley is the one that I can see I just am climbing out of. The valley of discontentment is a very lonely place. I would not recommend anyone to journey there. But it is where I have spent quite a number of days recently. It is amazing how fast I sped down that road and how slowly I have realized that I was lost there. I have been wallowing on Selfish Lane and trying on my own to leave the place I knew I shouldn't have dwelt.
Then I saw a light. A strange way this light came to me. I wish I could say that it was because I realized my sin, prayed, and saw the light of Christ. Actually, I believe that the Lord sent this little light of encouragement so that I could understand where I was, and where I ought to have been. It was someone else that was ablaze with a fire that I had long dampened. I watched and then began to long for the flame that they had in their life. I was saved, why could I not get as excited? Why was I sitting on the side of this long ugly valley road instead of high on that hill? As I watched I began to pray harder. I had been praying, but not really. I began to search the Bible. I had been reading my Bible, when I remembered. I wanted to be on fire. I wanted to be up there. And the glow and warmth from that encouraging flame kept stoking me to do what I knew all along to do.
It is amazing that when you see yourself for who you really are at the moment and turn back to face the light of the Lord, how quickly He forgives you and lifts you out of the miry clay. The Bible reading that I had been doing has become love again. I can't wait to hear what the Lord has to say to me. The prayer requests that were non-existent are flowing. And the tears that would not fall are falling. And it is amazing to me when and where they fall.
Oh, I know I have far far to travel. Striving for Christ-likeness is a lifetime journey that I am determined to make. I am sure that I will visit other valleys. Ones of sin and ones of heartache, but this valley that I am coming out of I hope to never visit again. He has certainly picked me up from the miry clay and put my feet on solid rock. And I am ready to climb again. To the high places to worship my maker. The one that has given me the song that is in my heart and life! I praise Him for showing me a blazing fire in someone's heart to help me see how dark my valley had gotten. CS Lewis said, "If you set yourself on fire people will come to watch you burn." It's true...I was watching. Now I can feel the flame growing and soon I hope to be a beacon to shine to show others to the Savior I have fallen so in love with.
I am reluctant to post such a transparent thought, but then I remember all the times in the Bible that Peter's betrayal is recounted and all the times that others in the Bible have fallen. I have been encouraged by these stories and by Christ's forgiveness. I hope that my journey, or really a small part of it, can be an encouragement to you.